The Greatest Gift on Mother's Day: To Be Left Alone

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What does your perfect Mother's Day look like? If you could have any gift you want, what would it be? I'm sure I could list a bunch of materialistic shit like that Navy Chanel I believe belongs on my arm. Or those way overpriced but equally hot Aquazurra red Wild Thing sandals that would just look amazeballs on my pedicured feet. And what about that pave diamond owl necklace perfect for layering that my neck is just screaming for to symbolize what a wise woman and mommy I am? A girl can never have too much jewelry or bags or shoes and I am one of those girls. I own it. I know I can be spoiled and materialistic, but it's okay because I'm a nice, thoughtful person too and there is so much more to me than the stuff I like to wear. And I really don't want any of that stuff anyway. Do you know what I really want on Mother's Day? To be alone! I love you husband and son, but if you want to give me the best Mother's Day gift you could possibly think of, then go away--just for part of the day--together. Or send me away somewhere--like the spa. Sometimes this mommy just wants to, okay needs to be left alone. Does that make me a bitch? Maybe. Do I care? Absolutely not.

I've always thought that Mother's Day should be about what the mother wants to do. A few months back, I was talking to another mom friend about this upcoming Mother's Day and she was saying how she loves to be with her kids all day long. And I'm sitting across from her thinking about how I want to be away from mine and what's wrong with me that I don't have this deep desire to spend every waking minute that Sunday with my child. I mean, I get that on Mother's day you should spend time with the people you love and who have contributed to you becoming a mother. For me that would be my husband who put that baby inside me, thus making me a mother, and my son, because without him I wouldn't have anyone to be a mother to in the first place.

I'm not saying I don't want to spend anytime with these two important males in my life. Of course I do. I just don't want to spend the whole day with them. I want to spend a few hours with just me. I like me and I like spending time with her without interruption.

Don't tell me the thought of having a few hours to yourself with no one nagging you or needing you doesn't sound orgasmic? The things you could get done or even not get done--the nothing at all you could accomplish, the amount of times you could pee without anyone opening the door on you, the wine or beer you could drink in peace, the book you could curl up with and even finish, the tv show your spouse hates that you could binge watch, the new vibrator you could test (if that's your thing), the celebrity gossip you secretly indulge in that you could catch up on, the amount of Facebook or Instagram stalking you could do, or the sleep you could make up for. The possibilities are endless and amazing.

And they should all be available to us on Mother's Day because we put the Mother in Mother's Day. This day is about us and what we want to do or don't want to do. It's about celebrating motherhood from the times we get to snuggle and laugh with our little ones to the times we are stuck wiping their asses full of shit or stripping and putting them to bed while we are mostly naked because they just threw up all over us and we can't leave them sitting in vomit to go put our own fresh change of clothes on. It's about spending time with the people we love including just ourselves, and being allowed to tell our husbands we have a headache or are just too tired when they try to roll over on top of us at the end of the day (after we have made them feed, bathe, and put our kids to bed) because of course we did...it's Mother's day!