Some moms think pushing a baby out of their vagina is the most beautiful experience. I'm not that mom. Some moms would rather die than send their new baby to the nursery during the hospital stay. I'm not that mom.
Some moms live to breastfeed. I'm not that mom.
Some moms puree fruits and veggies, making homemade baby food for their little ones. I'm not that mom.
Some moms cook a homemade meal for their children every night. I'm not that mom.
Some moms tell you that having a child is the most amazing experience they have ever been through. I'm not that mom.
Some moms have two, three, even four children. I'm not that mom.
Some mom's say their "uterus hurts" when they know it's time for another baby. I'm not that mom.
Some moms love the playground, other kids' birthday parties, and playdates. I'm not that mom.
Some moms look forward to mommy and me classes. I'm not that mom.
Some moms think bath time is a special time. I'm not that mom.
Some moms never go on vacation without their children. I'm not that mom.
Some moms say their children are their life. I'm not that mom.
Some moms pretend to have it together and be happy all the time. I’m not that mom.
I'm not judging these moms. Not even close. I think these moms are supermoms. Some of my closest friends are these moms. I thought I was going to be one of these moms. My mother in law is one of these moms. I learn things from these moms. I'm just not one of them.
Here is the mom I am: I'm the mom that would absolutely schedule my C-section if I decided to have another child. I'm the mom who is absolutely not having anymore children. I'm the mom who has no interest in sharing my body again with a tiny human. I'm the mom who had no problem sending my new baby to the hospital nursery so I could sleep. I'm the mom who tried to breastfeed and gave up on day five because I hated it and it was too hard. I'm the mom whose boobs are for sexual purposes, not food ones.
I'm the mom who had a night nurse for two months until my son slept from 7pm to 7 am. I'm the mom who thinks infants are boring. I'm the mom who had postpartum depression for the first year of my son's life and fought…really hard…to get better. I'm the mom who gives my son macaroni and cheese when I'm tired. I'm the mom who doesn't cook. I'm the mom who microwaves my son's dinners from containers his nanny has prepared and left in the fridge. I'm the mom who doesn't work and has a part-time nanny. I'm the mom who bribes my son with lollipops and cookies.
I'm the mom who loves to throw birthday parties but can't craft for shit and really doesn't care to. I'm the mom who pays others to craft for me. I'm the mom that thinks Etsy is a Godsend. I'm the mom who doesn't enjoy the chaos of the playground. I'm the mom that doesn't do playdates because my son still takes afternoon naps and I like naps too.
I'm the mom who needs breaks. I'm the mom who prefers kid-free vacations. I'm the mom who puts myself first...a lot. I'm the mom who has no problem leaving my son with a babysitter. I'm the mom who loves drop off. I'm the mom whose son gets on my nerves on a daily basis. I'm the mom who needs a glass of wine immediately following my son's bedtime.
I’m the mom who will be on anti-depressants for the rest of my adult life and is not embarrassed or ashamed. I'm the mom who loves laughing with my son. I'm the mom who loves reading books with my son. I'm the mom who melts when my son tells me he loves me and asks to give me a kiss. I'm the mom who loves watching my son develop and discover every detail about the world around him. I'm the mom who loves my son so much sometimes it's hard to breath. I'm the mom that doesn't apologize or feel guilty for any of this!
I'm just me, the mom I am and that's okay. Thank you postpartum depression and tons of therapy for teaching me this. (A lot more coming on this subject in the days and weeks to follow.)